Unlearning Help

Why is it always so hard to ask for help when you so desperately need it? Is it the fact that we have been normalized to not put down our capes and masks long enough to reveal the innermost parts of ourselves? Have we bought into the lie that we have to have it all together and those who don’t deserve to be judged or even worse yet, shunned? Or maybe we are afraid that if we share our deepest thoughts and most vulnerable moments, that others will see them as a perceived chink in our armor, and use it like kryptonite for our own demise? These are all valid points. But the irony of it all is that the very judgment we fear of receiving from others, at times we can inadvertently pass on to ourselves. And like a broken mixtape stuck on that annoying beat, we can play these nagging, pervasive narratives in our heads: “ If I share that I am in need of help, if I reveal that really don’t have it all together, will others extend grace to me or leave me in this pit to suffer alone?” And so instead of extending out our hands for help, we do the very thing that draws us deeper into the darkness- we sit…..alone….afraid…suffering…..unwilling….and unable to open our mouths to say “ I need help.”

Help— this four letter word, oftentimes can be perceived as a form of weakness, but the reality is asking for help reveals a person’s strength and innermost wisdom that they realize they cannot journey through this life alone. For in asking for help, you have the courage to say “I may not have all the answers, but I am not going to stop until I find them”. And that, my friends, takes immense bravery and courage. A type of courage that your biggest perceived superhero is unable to portray. And so in this season, we have to unlearn these negative connotations of what asking for help really means. We have to embrace a new understanding, a deeper knowledge and definition that receiving help is a way of ensuring that we all make it to the other side of this moment in time. So as we journey on, may we allow ourselves to bloom like an open flower and extend beyond our comfort zones to ask those around us to support us through these trying times. Whatever is needed, trust and know that as you ask for help, may you be met with the love and tenderness you need and desire in this moment. And in return, may you be brave and kind enough to answer the call when someone says that four letter word—help. Selah!