Finding Joy
Today has been one for the books. As I sit here letting my thoughts unfold on this digital page, I am consumed by all of the thoughts swarming around in my head. Thoughts swarming around like bees with the harsh sting of them piercing my mind. Thoughts of yesterdays and yester-years that are sweet, distant memories. Thoughts of the uncertainty of what lies ahead that leave an unsettling residue at the bottom of my tummy. As I reflect on what these past four months have looked like in quarantine, I have made some of the sweetest memories with my family. At the same time, as I continue to watch the headlines roll across the screen, I am beside myself at times wondering what will the world look like when we all re-emerge? How will this pandemic change life as we know it? How will the fight for racial equality unfold in this country as so many try to ignore the cries for justice? How will I contribute in meaningful ways to the ongoing movement for change? I realize that despite these questions, in this moment, I have to continue to pursue joy. For joy itself is a form of activism… a form of self-preservation…. a way of ensuring that I will be here for the long haul.
So in an effort to push myself away from my thoughts heavy laden with fear and anxiety, I have chosen to lay them down at the feet of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I cannot allow myself to drown in my sea of thoughts; For there is a greater testimony that is being birthed from this season we are in. I already see it taking shape as I speak and I am trying to harness the power of the lessons learned and those I am still being taught to carry me through this time. This week, I have been chewing on this verse, Proverbs 3:13 “Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.” Ahhh- JOY! Sweet Joy! There it is again! I want to consume joy, taste joy, hold it near and dear to my soul, and smell its sweet, decadent scent. The wisdom in finding joy in this season is knowing and understanding that although there are many things outside of my control, I love and serve a faithful God who will continue to be a “lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105). And I think that is where true joy emerges. Gaining the understanding and perspective in knowing that in the midst of so much uncertainty, I can still find joy through Christ. So going forward, I am committing daily to making conscious decisions to lay down the things that are out of my control, to halt all of the noise that tries to drown out my peace, and make room to receive joy - inexplainable, unconceivable, heartwarming joy:) Amen!